DOGFIGHT

The relationship topic of Reachers and Settlers has been quite a debate. Normally, in a social and cultural point of view, the role of  Reachers and Settlers varies between both sexes on who plays who in a relationship. And at first, I agree, it does vary on who has the upper hand in the relationship based on personality, physical appearance, charisma and appeal--and the like. Okay, at first, I wasn't familiar with the whole concept of Reachers and Settlers. I learned about this while watching my all-time favorite TV show to this date, which sadly aired it's last episode this year, How I Met Your Mother.

*For those who haven't seen HIMYM yet,
 for goodness sake, go online and watch it
 or ask a copy from a friend
or buy a dvd or check out its
 re-runs on different channels on TV!
You are missing out on half of your life.

It was during the fifth season and thirteenth episode of HIMYM when they talked about Reachers and Settlers, so yeah, when I first learned about it, I agreed with the whole concept, that in a relationship, there is the one who reaches (who goes after someone whose wayyyy out of their league) and the one who settles (the one who decides to stoop down to something/someone he/she clearly does not deserve but decides to stay for the heck of it); sometimes, no one in the relationship knows who's who, but people around them notices. It's not that they're against the relationship or the people involved, but it is because, we as human beings tend to be super nosy. It's normal, we have our own opinions about certain things, topics, ideals, ideas, and that includes, relationships and the people involved in that relationship. It happens, it's normal -  and don't you dare deny that you never once in your life said that "why are they together?" "it's not gonna work" "s/he deserves better" "they're never gonna last". We even have such comments when we find out that our celebrity crush is dating someone who we think isn't worthy of them-so yeah, it happens. Every one does it. But that's not really the point of this blog, I'm writing this post because, recently, I've come to the conclusion that the role of Reachers and Settlers are not subjective nor does it vary on personalities. We all have our roles to play. I've come to this conclusion while watching an the musical (Woah, BIG surprise there! See? the theater has its perks!) entitled, DOGFIGHT.

Here are the details. The musical is posted on youtube for those who
would want to check it out. 

Eddie feeling guilty for taking Rose
to a Dogfight. Final Judgement is
just a dance away

It is an off-broadway musical written by Pasek and Paul which was based on the 1991 film of the same title. The story is basically about young marines who decide to celebrate their last night of freedom by having a Dogfight (a Dogfight is a bet on who could bring the ugliest girl to the party and the guy who brings the ugliest date, wins the prize money, disgusting, right? but yeah, Dogfight is a thing, and yes, it still happens in this modern day and age. It is unfortunate but it happens and it is true, it is a real thing. Sometimes men can really act stupid but of course it doesn't meant that they are all the time, just most of the time) It follows Eddie (played by Derek Klena) who is one of the marines running out of time to find a date, then finds Rose(played by Lindsay Mendez) in a diner and decides charm his way to taking her to the party, she of course, says yes (how could a plain looking girl say no to a charming good-looking guy, right?) while on their way to the party, they began talking and Eddie starts having this feeling of guilt, but they still decide to go (mainly because Rose wanted to, she's young, plain and naive and this is her first invite to a party). Long story-short. Rose finds out about the Dogfight, she didn't win, by the way, but was still upset and stormed out of the party. Eddie felt bad , so he tried to win her back. He went back to the diner, asked her out on a normal date, they talked, they laughed, got to know each other and he realized that she IS an amazing girl-and a love story begins. --This is definitely one of my favorite musicals, although it has yet to reach the broadway stage, the material itself stands out! The actors were brilliant. The songs are a amaaazzziiiing and the direction was epic! You should see the war scene! It was superb! I could feel the intensity! Every one who was part of this musical was cast perfectly! I personally could not imagine another Eddie and Rose apart from these two! ugly she's just plain, I mean, she's a waitress in a small diner in a small town who plays a guitar,

Scenes from DOGFIGHT

The songs are heart-breakingly written. I mean, it was just awesome! I do not have a single complaint about how this wonderful musical was put together! It is really amazing! It could be one of the greats in my opinion! I loved how this musical tapped into one of the obvious social reality, the Reachers and Settlers, but apart from that, how it revealed the true identity on who's who. One of the things that I loved about this musical, is how it showed that women are the settlers and men are the reachers in a subtle way. How? It's like this. In the beginning of the story, the obvious choice for a SETTLER is Eddie, right? I mean, he's young, fit, a marine, charming and he has a good heart. And Rose isn't exactly

Lindsay Mendez and Derek
Klena aka KLENDEZ

 who has never been to any form of party before, never had any guy talk to her, let alone ask her out on a date-to a party filled with young good-looking marines.
So, yeah, the obvious is that Eddie is the Settler and Rose is the Reacher. Sure, makes sense, but when the love story begins, their true roles began to unfold. As the story progresses, Eddie realizes that Rose is an amazing girl-filled with hope, compassion, kindness, a beautiful heart and a wonderful voice. Yeah, he fell in love with her. She had hope. It is revealed in the end, that Eddie may have this tough exterior that people usually interprets as boldness and courage turns out to be fear and vulnerability. Rose was able to get it out of him that he is worth living, his life means something and that it is okay to be scared. At the end of the musical, Eddie fellow marines died in the war--the ones whom he called brothers and family.

 Rose and  Eddie
Eddie asking Rose to come to the party

They were gone, and after his service, he decides to come to the place where he, for the first time in his life, felt at home--He came back to Rose. She made him feel at home. She made him feel safe. The same plain and naive diner girl whom he took to a Dogfight made him, a US marine who battled an unthinkable war in Vietnam made him feel safe-made him feel like his life had meaning. She made him feel whole. After that great war, after receiving medals of being a hero in serving his country, all the honor, praises and gratitude meant nothing to him--he still sought and reached out to Rose. And Rose, after being played by a bunch of marine boys, went on a date with a marine who never wrote to her during the war, settled for Eddie. At the end, Eddie became the Reacher and Rose became the Settler. Their true roles were revealed.

"neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." -1Corinthians 11:9

This only means that men need women because women was created for man. Sometimes, women do not realize the true influence that they have in men. The upper hand is not really always with men. Just because they're the ones who approaches and asks women out, it means that men are the strong ones? Of course not. Men and Women have their own strength and vulnerability. When a man meets the woman destined for him, he finds his vulnerability and when a woman opens her eyes to the man she deserves, he becomes her strength.Women do not realize the true strength that God has placed within her which only a man can find. That is why it is so diverse and complex, and that is why reachers and settlers were coined. Because MEN should REACH for WOMEN. Women are obvious to settle for men because we, women were created for men.

I have more input to this, but I just realized that my 15minute blog attempt turned out to be a 30minute full blog post. So, I'll write another post in connection to this, but right now, gotta hit the sheets!