PLANS

*Okay, I know I promised to write a follow up post about Reachers and Settlers and I will, one of these days, I'm still in the process of gathering my thoughts, don't worry when my mind is ready to throw up about that topic, it will. But, just a few seconds ago, thoughts about oblivion rushed into my head. Here it goes...

Plans. Dreams. Ambition. Goals. Wants.As a single/young professional, this is probably one of the scariest words that I have had to encounter. I dunno about the rest of you, but for me it is. When a person asks you, "What's your plan" it's easy to come up with a bunch of mumbo jumbos to impress a person of what are the things that you would want to do in life--I mean, all you have to do is just give that person the items on what's your plan in life" question births another relevant and very significant question, "Will I be able to do all these things?".
your bucket list and your good to go. It's easy to answer, but if you start digging in deeper into it, this "

Hey, I am a planner myself. I'm a dreamer and a thinker. I LOVE thinking about the endless possibilities that tomorrow can bring. It sounds like a cheesy movie or song, I know, but, it's who I am, I dream, imagine and create. Heck, if being a dreamer was a profession, I'd pick that career in a heartbeat. I would. But, planning and fulfilling these plans are two different stories. Look, I'm not saying that one should stop dreaming, NO. THAT IS NOT MY POINT AT ALL. I mean, it's nice to dream, and create and imagine and feel like you can do anything and feel this liberating feeling of being a child again, I get it. I am that person. The unfortunate truth is, not all our plans will push through.

I'll use myself as an example. When I was sixteen, I created this crazy list of how I would want my life to be. At the age of twenty four, I should have finished my Master's, been to New York, Watched all the Broadway shows I want, Lost a lot of weight, Go Sky Diving, Go to New Zealand, Canada, Germany, Hungary, Greece and so on. Bring Granny and Mommy to Paris,my list goes on and on and on. I even remember having Must have met Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron and Ashley Tisdale.  It's silly, but I was sixteen. These are the plans that I had for myself, which was good, but along with these plans, I've also limited myself by placing a time table or a deadline for each of the items in my faith goals. But none of them turned out as I planned. I'm twenty four years old now and I am just about to graduate from college in a month. I worked without being able to finish my degree because I had to. I've never been on Broadway, I've I've never gone sky diving, haven't reached my goal weight, haven't been to New Zealand or any of the places I've listed, I lost my Granny and have yet to go to Paris-- and I still do not have a Master's Degree in Child Psychology. None of the things that I wanted when I was sixteen came true, Tell me, what's wrong with the things that I listed? Are they all attainable? Yes. Are they impossible? No. Then why am I not living the life that I planned? The answer is, I limited myself and apart from that, I limited God.

See, I placed all these wants, dreams and plans on my own time table. I didn't even consider the things that I'd experience along the way. I didn't know that my Mom would have cancer, that I would have to stop studying for three years and work as an undergraduate or that I would lose my Granny. No one knew these things, I certainly didn't--and I relied on my own strength as I planned my "oh-so-perfect-life" I wanted to become the youngest clinical psychologist when I was sixteen, I never wanted to be a teacher, I never knew that I could sing or that I loved music. I didn't know that losing Granny would ignite my passion for music--I had all these unplanned things happen to me, and now, even if my plans for myself fell apart, I couldn't now feel more whole. God pieced me back together. He restored me, and revealed who I'm really suppose to be. HIS PLAN.

Lea Salonga as Kim
Will Chase as Chris

I love music and adore musicals. I STRONGLY believe that music is one of the greatest gifts that God has ever blessed us with. I mean it speaks to so many people in so many ways. It soothes, it heals and it connects different people from different parts of the world and unites us all as one. I am fond of musicals. Crazily and obsessively fond of musicals. If I could live in a theatre for the rest of my life and sing to my heart's content, or actually live in a musical, then I would be the happiest person on earth and die the next day. Anyway, as I was listening my Life On Stage playlist, a ton of songs already passed but when Last Night of the World began playing, I started singing, softly of course because well, it's late and I don't wanna belt out and wake my sisters who are sleeping in the next room and besides, this song is a duet. Anyway, I dunno why all of a sudden, this topic came to mind, while LAST NIGHT OF THE WORLD was playing and I was singing along softly and of course, I was imagining that I was Kim from the musical Miss Saigon

Alistair Brammer and Eva Noblezada
of  Miss Saigon 25
 2014 West End Revival

(yeah, yeah, yeah, the musical theatre geek in me strikes again. But isn't it so awesome on how dynamic and diverse songs can be? People get different forms of inspiration from everyone! Truly inspiration is everywhere, but I'm going off topic, anyway...) the line singing
        Kim: "Dreams are all I ever knew"
then Chris answers:
       Chris: "Dreams, you won't need when I'm through" 

Lea Salonga and Will Chase on the 2001
Broadway Production of Miss Saigon

This line really struck me. I felt like a lightning bolt went through my mind and roars of thunder passed through me. Yeah, an epiphany. As I was singing it softly, Of course, this was a duet, sang by a sweet and innocent voice for the dreams are all I ever knew part and a strong and protective voice for the dreams, you won't need when I'm through part. I felt like it was God's voice reminding me that I don't have to worry about my goals, plans and well, dreams because God has planned out everything, all I have to do is trust HIM because HE NEVER DISAPPOINTS and HE LOVES SURPRISES. And once HE's through, I will be living the life that is beyond my expectations. See? GOD is truly OMNIPRESENT! He speaks through everything :D

God has the absolute BEST sense of humor ever. I mean, why on earth would HE allow me to write down my own plan if HE had something better in mind? Why would HE allow me to have this fascination about the human mind if HE had a different career in mind for me? Why would HE place certain passions in me without me even knowing that these passions existed? Why? Was the sixteen year old me a lie or a delusion? Of course not. He has a reason for everything--and I have yet to find out.

It says in Jeremiah 1:5...
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

--Now, isn't that just AWESOME? HE knew us before we were even formed and born. He knew our destiny before we even existed. Now that is something. It's a form of reassurance that:

1. WE ARE NOT A MISTAKE.

"I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139:14
  -Sometimes, we may feel like if a certain something goes wrong and we're at fault, we are the mistake. or sometimes, we can get too dramatic and think "I wish I was never born". Or for those who are like me (born out of wedlock) You'd think that you are a mistake because you were never planned in the first place, well, this is a reminder, that GOD planned you and me. He planned our birth, He planned every moment of our life. He orchestrated the people we'd meet, interact and befriend. He wrote a beautiful life story for each of us. HE MADE US.

2. WE ARE CREATED FOR A PURPOSE. 


"However, as it is written: "What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived" -- the things God has prepared for those who love him"-- 1 Corinthians 2:9

  -I call myself an artist with a purpose because we are wonderfully crafted piece of art created, formed and molded by our Heavenly Father. The same GOD who created the Heavens and the Earth. The same Heavenly Father who molded our very being and who knows our very reason for existing. The GOD who created this wonderful and beautiful world that we live in along with the vast universe that has yet to be discovered. The GOD who specifically knows our strengths, weaknesses and abilities and our purpose. GOD is THE BEST ARTIST. And as a produce of HIS genius and creative mind, don't you think HE knows why we are here? HE knows how we can be used by HIM. He knows every single area and moment of our lives. HE KNOWS OUR PURPOSE.

3. WE ARE IN HIS HANDS.
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." -Romans 5:8
   - At times when people just cannot simply state the right thing to say whenever we feel like we are drowning in an impossible situation with no where to go. God has the answer-always. Sometimes, the reason why we find ourselves caught up in this web of pain and discomfort is because we think that we can rely on living by our own term. God is for us and always in our side. No matter how far we run or where we hide, our Heavenly Father will always be there for us to guide, support and love us. No matter how bad we may think we are, His love is something that goes beyond measures, nothing surprises HIM because He knows us more than we even know ourselves and He will love us in ways beyond anyone can ever dream of. He is that PERFECT. No matter how deep our mess is, that is NOTHING compared to the depth of HIS love for each of us. Remember that we are created for a purpose, Crafted by our Creator, therefore, we are always in HIS hands and within HIS grace, protection and love. No one can ever out love God. He loves us, more than we know and more than what we can ever imagine. He loved us in the darkest of our days, He gave HIS son for us to save us, that we may be given another chance, that we may LIVE and reflect HIS glory. HE LOVES US.

You see, nothing is a mistake, and nothing is in our control either. The bottom line is, no matter how flawless we may think our plans are, there will always be a twist because, We are not created to plan, we are created to live. Live the life that reflects God. Live a life filled with love, grace and blessings. Live a life planned by GOD-because then, and only then we will know the true meaning of living. He will never leave us and HE will always love us. Isn't that more than what anyone can ever ask for? :)

Stay Blessed everyone!

DOGFIGHT

The relationship topic of Reachers and Settlers has been quite a debate. Normally, in a social and cultural point of view, the role of  Reachers and Settlers varies between both sexes on who plays who in a relationship. And at first, I agree, it does vary on who has the upper hand in the relationship based on personality, physical appearance, charisma and appeal--and the like. Okay, at first, I wasn't familiar with the whole concept of Reachers and Settlers. I learned about this while watching my all-time favorite TV show to this date, which sadly aired it's last episode this year, How I Met Your Mother.

*For those who haven't seen HIMYM yet,
 for goodness sake, go online and watch it
 or ask a copy from a friend
or buy a dvd or check out its
 re-runs on different channels on TV!
You are missing out on half of your life.

It was during the fifth season and thirteenth episode of HIMYM when they talked about Reachers and Settlers, so yeah, when I first learned about it, I agreed with the whole concept, that in a relationship, there is the one who reaches (who goes after someone whose wayyyy out of their league) and the one who settles (the one who decides to stoop down to something/someone he/she clearly does not deserve but decides to stay for the heck of it); sometimes, no one in the relationship knows who's who, but people around them notices. It's not that they're against the relationship or the people involved, but it is because, we as human beings tend to be super nosy. It's normal, we have our own opinions about certain things, topics, ideals, ideas, and that includes, relationships and the people involved in that relationship. It happens, it's normal -  and don't you dare deny that you never once in your life said that "why are they together?" "it's not gonna work" "s/he deserves better" "they're never gonna last". We even have such comments when we find out that our celebrity crush is dating someone who we think isn't worthy of them-so yeah, it happens. Every one does it. But that's not really the point of this blog, I'm writing this post because, recently, I've come to the conclusion that the role of Reachers and Settlers are not subjective nor does it vary on personalities. We all have our roles to play. I've come to this conclusion while watching an the musical (Woah, BIG surprise there! See? the theater has its perks!) entitled, DOGFIGHT.

Here are the details. The musical is posted on youtube for those who
would want to check it out. 

Eddie feeling guilty for taking Rose
to a Dogfight. Final Judgement is
just a dance away

It is an off-broadway musical written by Pasek and Paul which was based on the 1991 film of the same title. The story is basically about young marines who decide to celebrate their last night of freedom by having a Dogfight (a Dogfight is a bet on who could bring the ugliest girl to the party and the guy who brings the ugliest date, wins the prize money, disgusting, right? but yeah, Dogfight is a thing, and yes, it still happens in this modern day and age. It is unfortunate but it happens and it is true, it is a real thing. Sometimes men can really act stupid but of course it doesn't meant that they are all the time, just most of the time) It follows Eddie (played by Derek Klena) who is one of the marines running out of time to find a date, then finds Rose(played by Lindsay Mendez) in a diner and decides charm his way to taking her to the party, she of course, says yes (how could a plain looking girl say no to a charming good-looking guy, right?) while on their way to the party, they began talking and Eddie starts having this feeling of guilt, but they still decide to go (mainly because Rose wanted to, she's young, plain and naive and this is her first invite to a party). Long story-short. Rose finds out about the Dogfight, she didn't win, by the way, but was still upset and stormed out of the party. Eddie felt bad , so he tried to win her back. He went back to the diner, asked her out on a normal date, they talked, they laughed, got to know each other and he realized that she IS an amazing girl-and a love story begins. --This is definitely one of my favorite musicals, although it has yet to reach the broadway stage, the material itself stands out! The actors were brilliant. The songs are a amaaazzziiiing and the direction was epic! You should see the war scene! It was superb! I could feel the intensity! Every one who was part of this musical was cast perfectly! I personally could not imagine another Eddie and Rose apart from these two! ugly she's just plain, I mean, she's a waitress in a small diner in a small town who plays a guitar,

Scenes from DOGFIGHT

The songs are heart-breakingly written. I mean, it was just awesome! I do not have a single complaint about how this wonderful musical was put together! It is really amazing! It could be one of the greats in my opinion! I loved how this musical tapped into one of the obvious social reality, the Reachers and Settlers, but apart from that, how it revealed the true identity on who's who. One of the things that I loved about this musical, is how it showed that women are the settlers and men are the reachers in a subtle way. How? It's like this. In the beginning of the story, the obvious choice for a SETTLER is Eddie, right? I mean, he's young, fit, a marine, charming and he has a good heart. And Rose isn't exactly

Lindsay Mendez and Derek
Klena aka KLENDEZ

 who has never been to any form of party before, never had any guy talk to her, let alone ask her out on a date-to a party filled with young good-looking marines.
So, yeah, the obvious is that Eddie is the Settler and Rose is the Reacher. Sure, makes sense, but when the love story begins, their true roles began to unfold. As the story progresses, Eddie realizes that Rose is an amazing girl-filled with hope, compassion, kindness, a beautiful heart and a wonderful voice. Yeah, he fell in love with her. She had hope. It is revealed in the end, that Eddie may have this tough exterior that people usually interprets as boldness and courage turns out to be fear and vulnerability. Rose was able to get it out of him that he is worth living, his life means something and that it is okay to be scared. At the end of the musical, Eddie fellow marines died in the war--the ones whom he called brothers and family.

 Rose and  Eddie
Eddie asking Rose to come to the party

They were gone, and after his service, he decides to come to the place where he, for the first time in his life, felt at home--He came back to Rose. She made him feel at home. She made him feel safe. The same plain and naive diner girl whom he took to a Dogfight made him, a US marine who battled an unthinkable war in Vietnam made him feel safe-made him feel like his life had meaning. She made him feel whole. After that great war, after receiving medals of being a hero in serving his country, all the honor, praises and gratitude meant nothing to him--he still sought and reached out to Rose. And Rose, after being played by a bunch of marine boys, went on a date with a marine who never wrote to her during the war, settled for Eddie. At the end, Eddie became the Reacher and Rose became the Settler. Their true roles were revealed.

"neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." -1Corinthians 11:9

This only means that men need women because women was created for man. Sometimes, women do not realize the true influence that they have in men. The upper hand is not really always with men. Just because they're the ones who approaches and asks women out, it means that men are the strong ones? Of course not. Men and Women have their own strength and vulnerability. When a man meets the woman destined for him, he finds his vulnerability and when a woman opens her eyes to the man she deserves, he becomes her strength.Women do not realize the true strength that God has placed within her which only a man can find. That is why it is so diverse and complex, and that is why reachers and settlers were coined. Because MEN should REACH for WOMEN. Women are obvious to settle for men because we, women were created for men.

I have more input to this, but I just realized that my 15minute blog attempt turned out to be a 30minute full blog post. So, I'll write another post in connection to this, but right now, gotta hit the sheets!

ONE

I am the one who knows you, I am the one who cares, I am the one who's always been there. I am the one whose helped you, and if you think that I just don't give a damn, well, you just don't know who I am. -I AM THE ONE (Next To Normal)

These are the lyrics to one of the best musicals to date. A Tony Award winning musical, nominated for 11 Tonys and won 3! It also won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama. I know that this musical had its broadway premiere a few years ago, April 2009 to be exact, but it isn't until today that the gravity of this song was fully revealed to me. While listening to it, It just reminded me of how God acts in our lives. As human beings, we can be so selfish at times, well, to be honest, most of the time, we are generally selfish. We act like no one understands us, no one feels our pain, no one knows how we exactly feel whenever we have our down days, or when we have been ridiculed, persecuted, hurt, depressed and alone. We always isolate ourselves from our peers, especially to God. And at moments like these, this is when Satan starts plays an active part in our lives. This musical contains such a powerful message. The songs are really amazingly written and unfortunately, I haven't experienced the privilege of watching live broadway musicals, yet, but I'll get there, someday. It's part of my faith goals, so, someday. I'll watch broadways musicals live, and I'm holding on to that because nothing is impossible with God and without HIM, I'll never get to that point of my life without Him. But, before I get truly side tracked, let me go back to my point. I want to magnify the strong message of this song first. (For those who haven't watched the musical yet, this post might contain spoilers, so fair warning) Anyway, I expose myself to musicals because of online resources. Which is awesome for people like me. (I'll post another entry about faith soon)

As human beings, we have this tendency of being so self absorbed, this is why we feel neglected, depressed, insignificant, and insecure at times, hey, it happens, in at least one point in our lives, we feel these things,

why? Because satan is pathetic and devious. satan uses everything he can to steal the glory and light of God in us. And he uses this part of our character to his advantage, by making us feel that no one cares about us, that no one loves us as much as we love them, that no one cares, satan can make us feel as unimportant and insignificant if we allow him to. It's true, satan can just go as far as dangling temptations and whispering lies in our ears because he can't touch us, why? Because GOD is awesome and satan sucks. God is always with us and HIS glory and spirits lives in us, and now you're thinking that if this is so, then why are we still tempted? Well, because, we are human beings and sometimes, we ignore the promptings of the Holy Spirit because we're just too tempted. Let me just inject this topic a bit, being filled with the Holy Spirit is important, because our flesh is weak so our Spirit must be strong and fully backed up by the Holy Spirit. How do we do this? Talk to God, constantly. Hey, I'm not gonna be legalistic and tell you to do this and that to be filled with the Spirit. I strongly believe that our relationship with God is personal, so whatever and however way you communicate with God, do it as often as you can and of course, if in the time when you're deeply immersed in HIS presence, He asks you to open your bible, then do it. Your relationship with God is personal. So, however it works for you, I personally don't read my bible daily and memorize all the verses verbatimly, I don't but during what I call my "daily date" with God, when HE leads me to a verse, then, I open my bible and read it and tada, a revelation works, Sometimes, God is so awesomely spontaneous that during my chill time, like this, listening to a musical soundtrack, HE speaks and asks me to open up my bible for HIS revelation, then I do it. Your relationship with God is personal, so again, whatever works for you. Of course, make sure that whatever is revealed is backed up by the word of God. THAT IS IMPORTANT. It kinda validates the revelation in a way. I am sharing this because God speaks whenever HE wants to, so be sensitive to HIS Spirit and promptings.



 The chorus of the song "I AM THE ONE" from the Tony Award Winning musical Next To Normal reminded me of, of course, THE ONE, GOD. At our darkest moments and times, we always feel that we are alone, that no one understands us and no one is ever there for us. He knows us, and He is "I am the one "And provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning and the garment of praise instead of a spirit of dispair. The will be called oaks of Righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His SPLENDOR"- Isaiah61:3) God is the one who never leaves us, who loves us unconditionally that HE sent HIS sinless son to save, restore and renew us. Yes, it is possible to be build up again, He never leaves, no matter how disgraceful, hideous, dirty and unforgivable we think we may be, God still loves us. He still cares, He is still willing to forgive us, to grant us peace, to comfort us, to be with us as we grieve and rejoice. Even if we choose the dark side at times, He will always be by our side until we choose to see HIS light, isn't that sweet? He, the GOD of everything stays with us in our darkest moments and patiently waits for us to choose HIM and to see HIM- just like the song says "I am the one who holds you. I am the one who'll stay, I am the one who won't walk away". Even if we turn our backs at HIM, He would never do that to us, No matter how badly we hurt and disappoint HIM, He will never make us feel even one fourth of the pain that HE felt when we damaged HIS heart. No one knows pain as much as God, and still, despite us blaming HIM at times, HE still loves us, He still forgives and HE still choose to help and heal us. Yes, HE IS that PERFECT. Our merciful, loving, heavenly and benevolent God. That is just how HE is, Who HE IS. And whenever we doubt that, well, as the song goes "Well, you just don't know who I am."
who holds you, I am the one who stays, I am the one who won't walk away, I am the one who'll heal you, and now you tell me that I won't give a damn, well, you just don't know who I am... Cause I'm holding on and I won't let go" These words are so powerfully strong because it embodies how much God cares for us, and whenever HE tells us these things but still believe the lies of satan as he says that he is the one who cares for us just because he keeps us in our comfort zones and lures us to a place where we can find temporary peace and boosts our endorphines that makes us temporarily happy, LIES. We are human, yes, and we do give-in to these temptations, why? because we are weak, then after we give in, guilt comes in, then we become more depressed and sad than before, plus, we're suddenly filled with this gut wreching shame that we let go of the one who truly cares and love us because, satan is done having his fun with us, so, he will just bombard us with more and more shame that we would sometimes hide our faces from God. Pull away from HIM. This is a stupid gesture because we all know that we can never hide from God, He created everything so HE knows exactly where to find us, and unlike satan, God cleanses our sin, He can build us up again and restore the true being that we are in HIM. ("The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; HE delivers them from all their troubles." -Psalm 34:17)

Our GOD has and will forever be this way, so whenever we feel like we've done something so unforgivable, so filthy, so damaging, remember that HE is the one who knows you, HE is the one who cares, HE is the one who's always been there, HE is the one whose helped you...HE is the one is the one who holds you, He is the one who'll stay, He is the one who won't walk away. and whenever we think that God doesn't hear our cry, or know how we feel, well, the MORE we have to seek HIM that we may be reminded that HE knows and hears every cry of our hearts ("Before they will call, I will answer; while they are still speaking, I will hear" - Isaiah 65:24)

We are never alone, because God is ALWAYS with us, through our highlights and plot twists, HE is with us, HE IS THE ONLY ONE who will always be constant in our lives, never failing, never fading, but ALWAYS REIGNING.

Crossroads

Before my mind starts to throw-up; let me share this poem that I wrote that pretty much sums it up:

http://sassyintrepid.blogspot.com/2014/02/crossroads.html

Feel free to visit this page, I also handle and manage it. All the works there are mine. It's just more on the artistic side of me, anyway, I know that it is indeed Valentine's Day or the day of Love as some people may call it, but this post is NOT about love at all. No, it is not about relationships, or love or romance-- nothing like that in this post, rather, this is something that most Singles, INCLUDING myself longs to have, and NO it is NOT a lifetime partner or a love life; but DIRECTION.

For the longest time, this is what I have been praying constantly for. DIRECTION. Yeah, it seems like a normal word that we all hear, but do we all realize the gravity of its meaning? Think about it, I don't mean to break the chain of what Singles normally obsess about which is being with someone, being in a relationship and getting married, that's fine, if that is for you, but before that season of your life comes, what have you been doing so far? Don't get me wrong, I am not against relationships, whatever. But, shout out to Singles out there, do you spend the same amount of time praying for God's direction in your life? In terms of your career? Have you really achieved EVERYTHING you wanted in life before praying for your lifetime partner? and more importantly, are you really ready for a relationship? For a commitment? or better yet, to settle down and have a family? The fact that you still have this want to be with someone just so you could feel contented, happy and fulfilled only indicates how unready and unstable you are. Sometimes we might think that we need to be with people in order to make the right decision or even to know how to pray properly for the things that we "want" --this is true, to a fault. There are times when we need to just distance ourselves from people that we may hear the real calling of God, that we may know how and what to pray for without the influence of others. I admit that I was one of the people who was influenced by others on what to pray for. It's sad but it's true, I used to pray for my partner because everyone was doing it, because there were influential people in my life who were doing it and advised me to do it. I thought that I was ready for a commitment, to be in a relationship because I was praying for my life partner, but while I was doing this, something just felt...OFF. I wasn't ready and I really didn't want to. It took me several years to realize that. To genuinely know that I am not ready to commit or submit to a man, not because I don't want to (that's partly the reason) but because there are still many things that I want to do with and in my life. I came to this epiphany when I got the healthy amount of DISTANCE from people and focused my everything on to God. He spoke with my soul. I realized that I don't really like to be with someone, I prefer to be alone, to have my thoughts to myself and be sold out to God. I am not saying that I have the gift of blessed singleness, but at this point of my life, being in a relationship is not my priority. There are still things that God wants me to do and fulfill and as of now, that is my priority--to fulfill HIS purpose for me. Remember that just because you are single, it does not mean that you cannot be happy, the truth is you do not need anyone to make you happy, you have a soul so beautifully crafted by our Creator, a soul that has been made whole and well, trust your soul, trust God and dwell in HIS presence; that is the only way to find true happiness and contentment.

There is nothing wrong with being alone. In fact, it is even healthier, you get to think for yourself, have your own thoughts and you have this wonderful opportunity of knowing yourself and reinventing yourself. Singleness is the wonderful season of possibilities, of turning dreams into realities, of doing what makes you happy, of enjoying life to the fullest, enjoying and exploring the wonderful world that God has created. Enjoy it. You get to make your own DECISION. Deciding and Standing firmly for what you believe in takes courage and bravery and these abilities only comes from GOD. I tell you, decisions won't be easy, in fact it is just one of the hardest thing to do in life, but once you make a decision, stick with it and of course, allow the Holy Spirit to guide you through it.

I suggest that you'd lessen the effort you're currently giving praying for your partner and redirect your attention in earnestly seeking God in leading you towards HIS will and direction for your life. I mean, ENJOY life being single. Travel, make lots of song covers, go to the beach, heck, go to Paris for crying out loud! Explore and Experience. Let GOD fulfill HIS promises for you, focus on your career, buy the cars you want, the outfits that you want, go star gazing, go for a picnic. ENJOY your life, Stop holding yourself captive to finding "The One". Life is not meant to be lived like that, what, you think that when "The One" comes, you'll be living Happily Ever After? of course not! that doesnt even exist. SINGLEHOOD is the BEST time to know yourself, know the things you want and DO the things you want, Allow GOD to lead you in fulfilling HIS purpose for your life, be a BLESSING to other people, go on Mission Trips, Go mountain climbing, hiking, sky diving--Do all the things that you want to do because this is YOUR time, the season where you are free to discover who you really are and who you want to be. The season when GOD's voice would constantly remind you to trust HIM as you go through different crossroads in life. Pray for HIS direction and seek HIS attention.

DIRECTION. This is something that every person needs, direction. Well, who can best direct us to our purpose and plan but God. Allow HIM to direct us on where to go and what to do. He knows what HE is doing. The funny thing about society and media's picture of Singleness is desperation, and the worst part, we succumb to that picture that society painted and tampered for us. We become so obsessed with being with someone that it more often than not leads to brokeness and destruction rather than the opposite which is peace and contentment. Think about it, when we're single, we can do whatever we want, we have no commitments, and that is one of the BEST feelings ever in my opinion because there is NOTHING holding us back. So for those serial daters, get your crap together first, you do not need anyone to fill the void in your heart, you have to find your inner peace and learn to love yourself. Feel and BE whole. You should stop looking for your better half because you do not need someone who's half anyway, you should work on making yourself whole to attract another whole person to grow together. Now is the time to figure out what you want to do with your life. Stop rushing into relationships and dating. It isnt healthy and it is VERY MUCH OKAY TO BE SINGLE. ENJOY IT while it lasts.

Now, for those who are still struggling from being a serial dater, dont panic. It isnt too late to change that, nothing is written in stone, there is always room for new beginnings, clean slates, and start overs. 

This Valentines Day, make it different. Instead of moping and feeling sorry for yourself because you don't have anyone with you, who cares? Stop conforming into society and enjoy this season. Love the people around you. 

"You make known to me the path of life;you will fill me with joy in your presence,with eternal pleasures at your right hand." -Psalm 16:11

JOURNEY 2013

"Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies." 
-Psalm 36:5

2013. How do I even begin to describe you? It's funny because this is by far the craziest year that I have ever been in my entire life. Talk about a whirlwind of emotions, hats off, 2013 wins that for me. I guess to sum everything up in one word, 2013 has been extremely OVERWHELMING. There were so many things that happened in my life this year that this might be my longest blog to date. My goodness, this year was most definitely a journey for me, was it wonderful, at times, was it difficult, again, at times. Was 2013 memorable, oh, YES.

This year was really full of surprises for me. To start things off, God brought me back to school after stopping for almost three years, and Yayy! I'm finally going to get my diploma on May 2014! Woohoooo! This was such a wonderful surprise for me, I wasn't expecting it, I was hopeful and I stood by the measure of faith that God has blessed me with that one day, I will be wearing my school uniform again, and tadaaaa, It did. I remembered my first day back in my beloved school, as I was walking in, I was so overwhelmed with emotions that I think, I had tears in my eyes as my feet continuously brought me closer to the gates, lanai, the main entrance and I could see the guards, one guard even said "Kilala kita, diba graduate ka na?" and of course I responded, "Ggraduate na po" and smiled. I remembered my voice breaking as the words 'ggraduate na po" came out of my mouth. It was a living and breathing fact that months from that moment, I will be having my diploma in my hands, and I will be having my last graduation picture and hang it on the wall. Yayyy! Right now, I'm a third grade practicumer--and I am loving every moment of it. One student asked me:
"Ms. Koko, why are you always helping out Ms.________?"

I answered: "Because she's my mentor"

Student: "What's a mentor?"

Me: "She's helping and guiding me in becoming a great teacher"

Student: "Really? you're gonna be a teacher? here? do you know what section you'll get???!?!"

Me: "I'm not sure yet, why? do you want me to choose ____?"

Student:  "Yes! please choose ______. I want you to be our teacher next year!"

That was such a sweet and wonderful student-teacher encounter right there!! God is indeed super faithful! I finally got my chance to take my grad pic! hey, that is BIG deal for me, before I stopped, I just asked for grad pictures of my classmates/batchmates but this time, I've got my own and in a few months, my own diploma and I can finally call myself a college graduate! I'm getting my diploma! Yeahhh baby!! :D

Going back to school was definitely, I'll say it again, overwhelming. It's weird for me to hear my classmates calling me "Ate" (though most of them said that I didn't look older than them in which they were really shocked when I tell them that I'm 23 years old :) Great genes! yess! haha!) I got a chance to be taught be amazingly brilliant professors; Ms. Leonardia, Ms. Oblena, Sir Galvez and Ms. Colendrino.

Ms.Oblena, you have no idea how much I want to write and how being a writer has always been my childhood dream. I really want to write a book one day. Being in your class has been such a joy and I honestly enjoyed every moment in your class. Thank you for assigning/requiring us to watch a musical play. I am such a theater geek but I rarely get the chance to watch a live play because for some reason, I didn't find the need for me to watch plays, weird,right? One of the downfalls of the internet, I guess. But when I went to PETA, I realized how much I missed watching plays. Live PLAYS. You've fired me up for plays again! Thank YOU! Plus, I've gotten a step closer in learning more about myself and what kind of writer I want to be through the different writing activities in the classroom! You've unleashed a certain level of creative thinking in me. Thank You Ms.Oblena!

Sir Galvez, for all the trivias and fun facts that you have always laid out in class, for making me realize that I am actually interested in Chemistry and I truly had a blast learning about the various gases in different planets. I will never forget the Nat Geo video: A journey to the end of the universe. It sparked my fascination with the stars and how it made me consider that we, humans might be stardust. Thank you for sharing facts about the month of "February" that it originally was the month that had the most number of days in a year before people got too barbaric that it had to be divided and thus making it the shortest month. I really never looked at the shape of a heart the same way ever again, I used to find the heart shape cute, but because of your fun trivia about it, it has been my hated shape now. :) Thank you for deepening my understanding in how a teacher should be, that a teacher's knowledge should not be limited in the pages of the books. It has really inspired me in becoming a better teacher to my future students.

 My mind was really stretched in Ms.Leonardia's class! I have to say, I loooove reading, I loooove literature but whenever I was in her class, I really realized how much I still needed to learn. I felt like I was a first grader learning how to read for the first time! I have to say, after my class with her, I have never looked at a piece of literature the same way again, I learned how to distinguish good and bad writing, a writer's style and consistency with the character and the story. I've learned so much from her, though she was strict, definitely, but I enjoyed every single moment in her class, I was shattered, crushed and rebuilt and molded in her class. So, Ms.Leonardia, Thank YOU! It must be said, and I don't mean to disrespect any of my passed English teachers; but for me, Ms.Leonardia, You are the BEST ENGLISH TEACHER THAT I HAVE EVER MET. I am extremely grateful that I have been given the chance, honor and privilege to have been called your student. Thank you for all the writings, the thoughts, ideas, styles and for developing my eye for reading and writing. You've stretched my mind sooo much that I actually feel like I am more keen in critiquing and reading literature. My sisters are actually telling me that I look into things too much whenever we watch a movie or when I tell them about a book I'm reading or a song that I'm singing. Thank you for teaching me the right and proper way to appreciate literature. And if ever you get the chance to read this, I really hope that you would not find any grammar glitches. Thank YOU, Ms.Leonardia! :)

and of course, my Mama. Ms.Abel Colendrino. Where do I begin to thank you? Since our first encounter a few years ago, I always had the feeling that you will be one of the people who will always be a part of my heart and a part of who I am. Thank YOU for everything, Mama and for giving me the honor of calling you my Mama. I've never felt this type of connection to someone (other than my family of course). Thank YOU for teaching me how to laugh at myself, love myself and accept myself. Thank you for all the wonderful learnings both inside and outside the classroom, for always encouraging us to accept our students for who they are, for giving me a deeper understanding on how communicate with students, on how to make an impact, for teaching me how to forgive, to love, to respect and to accept. The values that I've learned from you are truly a mark of one GREAT and WONDERFUL teacher and person. Thank YOU making your classroom a safe place to learn and discover things about ourselves. The things that you have taught us, or taught me are the things that I will truly carry to my grave, these are the things that are not contained inside the classroom. Thank you for teaching me and for showing me the type of teacher that I want to be. I can only hope and pray that I could make even half the impact that you have made in my life to my future students. Thank YOU for being my second mother and for making your classroom my home away from my own home. You are truly a BLESSING Ms.Abel. Thank YOU for everything! (Sayang lang, cause wala tayong picture together! :( soon!)
    Thank YOU dear teachers! Cheers to you! I know that your 2014 will be AWESOME! Keep being a blessing to your students. Thank YOU for being a part of my 2013 :)

I also had two life changing experiences during my first semester back in college. It was when I was given the wonderful privilege to visit a rehab center and meet the most transparent and honest people ever. These are the people in the community of SELF. It was an amazing experience to interact with them speak with them and get to know people without any pretentions or hidden agendas. They all were so blunt and honest. They of course, just like all of us had their own stories to share, and the fact that they could be transparent enough to share how they dealt with the want to change, how they faced their issues, how they chose to move on and not dwell on the past is truly something extremely inspiring. I was honored and blessed to meet them all. These men and women are amazing and I do admire their bravery, boldness and transparency. Wow. Of course, we weren't allowed to take pictures but my goodness, I was really blessed, corrected and humbled by the experience.

Also, I'd like you to meet Gavin, he's my student. He is a five year old kid with autism. My calling for children has never been so clear because of this encounter. I don't know if I'm just a softie but the more time I spent with Gavin, the more I wanted everyone to see him for who he is as a person and  not as a case or diagnosis or condition. It really pains me to my core that when people hear that a person has special needs, they'd jump to the conclusion or to a point, forget that they are people, that children are people. They start seeing these children as cases that need to be studied. The truth is, all they need is love and to be accepted.

For instance, if a person does not know how to carry a tune or has two left feet when it comes to the dance floor, do we see them as case studies or a diagnosis? Of course not! We still accept and see them as people, and that is the exact same thing that we should do when we meet people who has special needs, they are people, just like us. People with a certain level of limitation, just like us. We have our limitations,

and we accept that as a fact, then why can't we accept these kids as they are? Instead of dealing with Gavin like a case study, I interacted with him in the same way that I always do with every single person I meet--with love. As long as we just LOVE each other, everything will work out. Gavin could not speak, he was diagnosed as a non-verbal autistic child, but I wanted to prove the diagnosis wrong, I interacted with him, I loved him, and I still do.  

We played, we ran, we laughed, we fought at times--and with everything that we've done together, I made it a point to do everything with love. At one point, he actually spoke to me, he repeated the words, yellow, blue, pink, go, out, he held my hand, he looked me in the eye. I'd like to believe that he knew and he felt that I love him. And I do, in fact, when it was time for me to say goodbye, I couldn't nor could he. I remembered our last encounter, he looked at me through the doors and even if it hurt me, I waved goodbye. I am just humbled by the leading of the Holy Spirit during the period of time that I spent with Gavin, I know that it was only Divine Intervention that reminded me that all I needed to do was LOVE Gavin. Point is, Let's just remember JESUS' command, LOVE ONE ANOTHER. That's all there is to it and with that principle and value, we can never go wrong. Of course, I also couldn't post pictures :)

Another highlight of my 2013 is my BREAKING FREE journey. This too wasn't easy. In fact, it was also a whirlwind of emotions! I just feel so BLESSED to be able to go through this journey with the most AWESOME group of women ever! This was an crushing and eye-opening journey and I could not have been placed with the most awesome women. I've learned so much from these beautiful and wonderful women of God through this journey. Week after week, there is a deeper level of intimacy involved. There is a deeper understanding of the things that we think we know, understand and grasp. In this book review I was able to not only learn things about myself, how God looks at me despite my short comings and imperfections. There are a lot. I've realized that I had a lot of baggage that I was not even aware of. The level of humility and transparency that God taught me through this book was truly amazing because these are the things that we are not aware of. It was like repentance 5.0. It was amazing. I've also learned and embraced my true identity in Christ. Breaking Free from the chains of sin and captivity. I also realized the gravity of plunder through this book, through the words breathed by God in this book. My goodness, I do not know that there were so much of myself that satan has stolen from me. Really, it was such a journey and I am so thankful that I've got to go through this with these lovely ladies!

 If you haven't gone through this yet, I highly recommend that you do. Gather your best girlfriends and get to know each other deeper. For real, we cry every week. Not out of vanity but this book is so God-breathed that when you think that you don't have any more tears to shed, there's an unexpected river of tears that would be unleashed unexpectedly. It's awesome. It isn't easy, but it is so worth it. I have to say, I've gotten so much closer with God and myself because of this journey. Breaking Free by Beth Moore is such a meaty material. It's challenging but again it is so worth it! The kind of learnings, breath-throughs and revelations that we all gained after this book review are truly irreplaceable!

   Me and my family also received one of the biggest and brightest news ever, Last August, My Mom was declared ON REMISSION. In "normal" words, that means, she KICKED CANCER's Butt! It was such a vast and wonderful journey. I've never been this proud of my Mom. The strength of God is definitely seen and felt in her. During the chemo process, Mom always said that "The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you" It was a poem that she read which helped get her by. I am so blessed that God has blessed my Mom with circumstances that stretched her faith and deepened her relationship with God. He has graced her with so much love and strength throughout everything. For me, she is just one of the living testimonies of God's love, strength and mercy. This was such an adventure for my Mom, actually for the whole family, she has always been our rock, at least for me, she has always been my rock. and now, because of God's grace, she is now a cancer survivor! Yeah! It feels sooo good to say that! My Mom is a cancer survivor!

and tadaaa, as you can see, her hair is growing! and it is straight!!! My Mom's hair is a big deal for me, aside from it being a woman's crowning glory, My Mom's hair is really beautiful! As in raven black, straight perfect hair! And it's now growing! Yayyy! Talk about God's grace, right? Allow me to gloat, I'ma  proud daughter! :) 

   Of course, after being set free from all forms of plunder, the real challenge and battle came after. You know, in any situation, once you have the proper battle gear, you'd think that you are all set for battle, but no.Roughly, a month after, challenges, trials came to somehow ruin, damage and break my freedom from captivity. False accusations and persecutions were thrown to me and my family. My family means the world to me, and sadly, because satan is so desperate to take down every child and warrior of God, the enemy somehow chose to target the one thing that makes me vulnerable. My family. Family relationships were targeted by satan, but by the grace of GOD, through and by HIS strength alone, we are and will always be TooLegit to Quit. Last August, my Granny, who has always been a part of my life began to somehow evaporate. She would forget where she was, it was like, in my eyes, post-traumatic stress disorder because of certain unfortunate circumstances caused by certain people who are no longer part of my life. These challenges and trials actually brought me and my family closer, and Granny has always been part of my life and she has always been this blanket of love that would hold us all together, and now, she has been called back home to Heaven last November. It was weird because she just celebrated her 90th birthday! Isn't that great! 90 years of God's glory! It wasn't an easy season for me, not at all.

In my 23 years of existing here on earth, never for a second did I think that my Granny will miss a single day of my life, she has always been there. Last Christmas was when it all dawned on me that she's really gone, that she has gone home. Permanently. I remember the first day from the cremation, we were bringing her urn in her room, I was about to enter her room, and in that short hallway going to her room, I normally would see her feet dangling the foot of the bed, but at that time, it wasn't. --and I'll never see that again. ever. In the Philippines, we're big when it comes to celebrating Christmas Eve. I'm a boring person and a nerd, I normally would stay up till around 2:00 in the morning while the rest of my relatives would sleep at around 6 or 7am. I'd come in to Granny's room, she'd normally be sleeping at that time, I'd curl up beside her, and she'd extend her arms while I'd reach for her hand. We'd hold hands, her lovely perfect and soft hands and fall asleep. Then, every Christmas Morning, I'd wake up at around 9am and she'd normally had her coffee already but would ask if I'd like to have breakfast, she'd have her bread and queso de bola while I have bread and ham. Every Christmas Morning. It was like an unspoken tradition for both of us. This Christmas, I still slept in her room, though I stayed up will 7am before cozying up in her room and bed, but when I woke up, she wasn't there anymore. And she won't be. She's home. It's funny because the one place where I call my home here on earth isn't complete anymore. Granny isn't there. Had I known that Christmas 2012 would be the very last Christmas I'd spend with her, then I'd would not have gotten out of bed at all. Had I known. One of the most heartbreaking things of her leaving too soon is that, she didn't see me graduate. She didn't seem me become successful; She has always been the only one who would patiently listen to my crazy facts about a new celebrity, song, movie or  musical that I'm currently obsessed with, she was the one who I would talk to about my celebrity crushes without hearing any tease or sarcastic comment, she was the one who I'd always sing for whenever I learn a new song. She would listen and applaud and tell me that I sing beautifully even if I know that I don't. Granny has always been my confidence and my genuine support system, she was the one who always genuinely wanted to watch me on stage and support me not because she is a member of my family but because she genuinely wants to. She was the one who I said I wanted to be in the front row whenever I get the guts to try out theater at one point in my life. She was the one who has always been so supportive about and throughtout everything. If ever I do all the things that I told her I'll do, she won't be there to see it anymore. It still hurts me, it still gets to me, as I write this portion dedicated to her, I'm in the verge of tears, in fact, if my sister wasn't sleeping beside me, I'd probably cry, but I can't because I don't want her to see. Granny lived a great life, come on, 90 years!?!?!? 90years of love and laughter. Now, even if she won't get to see me do the things I want to do and live my dreams, I know she is still with me. As long as I have my memories, I have her. I don't think I will ever forget her, I won't. She is and will always be a part of me. The things that God has planned for me, the things that I will be doing in the future, the life that I will live, my dreams that, by the grace of GOD will soon become reality, I will always remember her. I will never forget my Granny. At each moment of my success, it is equivalent to a fulfillment of my promise to Granny. Of the significant people in my life, it is Granny who truly knows every single dream of mine. And Granny, by God's grace, I will make it. You will be proud of me. I love you and I miss you. You will be proud of all of us. I'll make sure of it. I'll make you proud of me. You will be smiling down from Heaven :) and I know that as I achieve my goals and dreams one by one, by God's grace and power of course, you will be cheering with me, you will be praising God with me. Together Granny. I love you Granny. Very Much.

On a lighter note, I'm also thankful for #FirstDateTheMusical. It is this brand new musical that stars the very talented Zachary Levi and Krysta Rodriguez.

This is actually the musical that I am currently obsessing on! It began running last August 8,2013. Because I live here in the Philippines, I won't get a chance to see it because it's unfortunately ending on the 5th of January 2014 :( It's sad. I know that this is completely out of context but this is the sort of thing that I'd normally tell Granny, and she'd listen :) but yeah, the songs are amaaazzzinnng! of course I know my favorite songs from this musical by heart. It's really interesting, it is about two completely different people who go on a blind date which of course at the end of the date, be into each other, you've gotta have a happy ending, right? But the think that really ignited my interest is the baggage that people carry on every first date. I mean, that is definitely something, right? The songs are amazing, I'm a lyricist and I have to say, I love how the lyrics of the songs were cleverly injected in the music, it was brilliant. I love comedies because it tackles serious issues on a lighter take, though, it isn't really light, I mean, humor makes everything better. The soul reason of comedies is to give its audience an epiphany--and that is why I LOVE comedies! Ugh, I wanna see this musical sooo bad! So, for those who are in the States, please go see First Date! It's on Broadway's Longacre Theatre!! Check it out! Plus, the very talented, my forever crush Zachary Levi is starring in it, how on earth can you lose? :D No Regrets. Promise!

Since, I never got a chance to see #FirstDateTheMusical live, I took it upon myself to learn the songs, and gather up the courage to actually do a cover of the heart-wrecking #Safer by Krysta Rodriguez, don't expect too much, because I'm no singer and definitely am NOT Krysta Rodriguez, I just did this out of boredom and because I like the song, as heart shattering it may be, I like the rawness of the lyrics. So, here it goes, Safer, if you've got time, listen to it, but again, don't expect too much :D It was done out of my frustration of not getting to see the musical live. Plus, if Granny was still with me, she would be the first one who would hear me sing this, cause that's what I do, I sing the new songs I learn to her and only her.

https://soundcloud.com/kollenerae/first-date-the-musical-safer

  The reason why I actually included #FirstDate in this post is because it helped me cope. It kept me distracted from hardcore depression. I am an overthinker or an over-analyzer. It is both a joy and a burden because I tend to dwell on things and ask why why why. I need something to distract me, so that I could cope and deal with things. First Date:the musical helped me cope. The humor injected in the songs made me laugh, cry and think. It maybe out of context for the readers, though I doubt that people would read this cause it is so long, but this is significant for me because it was a distraction, it made me think about things, that everyone really has a story, no matter who you are or what you have been through, or how insignificant you think you may be, you always have a story to share. Ultimately, our goal is simple. Love. Love a person, a job, a play, a movie, a musical instrument, love a song, a celebrity, a book, a movie. just Love. Because love makes the most senseless things make sense. The reason why I was able to cope through this is because I loved the actors in it, I loved the songs, I loved the music and I love the play. Well, it may be a form of bias cause I've loved Zachary Levi since his rendition of Proud Mary in Less Than Perfect, but there's still love there. Plus, His passion, heart, soul and spirit is truly inspiring. A proud man of GOD. That is the one thing that really make him stand out from everyone else. He reflects the glory of God in his life and in his actions. He has such a beautiful heart and soul.

Life is really funny. God has the best sense of humor, and sometimes, well, most of the time, HE is the only one who gets it, but at the end the joke would land and we'd go.. "I got it! good one!" This is sorta almost like that, Unno came! Unno is my first nephew :) Such a handsome little fella!
 A baby is always a wonderful and such a sweet blessing. He brings so much joy, though he came unexpectedly, well, a month earlier than expected but still, God's overflowing grace is truly undeniable! He's premature but he grows sooo fast! he's actually quite long for one month which means that he's tall!! He is such a sweetheart and I know that he will be a great guy when he grows up. I am really one fortunate lady to have this guy as my first nephew! I know that he is going to be a responsible man of God! We're all super stoked to have him, he's like this candy that every one is going crazy for. He's our shiny new toy and surprisingly, whenever I sing to him, he sleeps, peacefully. My voice is sort of like a lullaby for him which is really shocking because I never thought that it would ever have that kind of an impact to someone, let alone a baby! but it works and he falls asleep and I am loving every moment of being an AWESOME aunt to Unno-Bub! I am very proud to call myself an aunt now, as in official aunt, by blood! I could not be more stoked for this! Unno was like a breath of fresh air when he came, a little angel, when I saw him, I tweeted this before, but babies are really like a living testament of the existence of Heaven, there is absolutely no way that Heaven does not exist. A baby's laughter, presence, smile, even scent is something that cannot be fully described nor summed up in one word! I love this boy to bits and I know that he is going to be one of the most loved man ever!

  Aside from Unno, we also welcomed another member of our family. My long lost cousin, Joshua:

    To wrap up, yes, 2013 was definitely not one of my best years, but  it doesn't matter because even through the storms that I've been through, look at the wonderful things that has happened in my 2013??? It was awesome! THANK YOU JESUS FOR 2013! It was an adventure.... so I actually do not know what God plans for my 2014 but I know that at the end of everything, it is GOD that will always and forever be glorified! I mean, if I put my full trust, my everything to God, how on earth could I go wrong? Sure, last year had a few hiccups, but that doesn't mean that the past has to affect my future. I remember one of the songs in First Date that goes . . . ♪All I know is in this moment, my past is just my past♬ ♪ which is actually true, our past is just the past, we can't correct whatever has been done, but we can change our future. Friends, life is all about perspective, and as cliche as that sounds, it is true. Choose to believe. Choose to trust and Choose to be in FAITH! Why do we even have to worry, when we know that the GOD of ALL CREATION is in control? So, come on, cheer up and join me in welcoming 2014! Yeah!! Happy New Year Everyone! BE IN FAITH! Stay BLESSED!

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire."

—Hebrews 12:28-29

Emotions

 "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."

 -Ephesians6:13

It is one of those days when you just feel sad. For some reason, something is not just right, you feel down and lonely--Is it wrong to feel this way? Definitely not! Sadness is a feeling, it is an emotion that is felt by--everyone. It is however an unpleasant emotion. Is it wrong to feel sad? No. But it is wrong to allow sadness or any emotion to be exact to take over you. This is where things go down.

His words says that:

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." -Romans12:2

It's kind of funny what the media, or other external factors influence us to do with what we are feeling, how it is subtly saying that we should follow our hearts and go with what we feel. Ideally, Practically and Rationally, this is wrong. I mean, yes it should be one of the deciding factors but it should not be the only factor. God blessed us with brains and minds and wisdom to use and not to allow our emotions to take over it, He blessed us with brains for a reason, that He may use our brains to impart knowledge and wisdom to make the right and proper decisions. Mind over heart. That is how we should be. Some of us become too impulsive that it leads to...disasters or unpleasant circumstances because we forget to consult mr.Brain. Our brains are designed our God to be above our hearts for a reason.


Feeling something is normal, whether this maybe sadness, happiness, anger, fear, or whatever, these are all emotions, we are only human beings and we are bound to feel all these things. It isn't a sin to feel. Hey, if it was, why would God allow us to feel anything in the first place? Think about it, if every single one of our decisions were based only on what we feel, what do you think our lives would be like? When we are mad? or frustrated or felt like punching or slapping someone or something, would it make sense? If we cursed and insulted someone because we just felt like doing it, would that be a form of triumph?
What is wrong is allowing the emotion to take over that our judgment about certain things get clouded which would eventually result to chaos. God gave us emotions to feel, and what we do about these emotions is already up to us. With every action that we do, may we always ask ourselves if this certain action would glorify God or would it glorify something else? It says in 1 Corinthians 10:31

 "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
-1 Corinthians 10:31

In WHATEVER you do, it should glorify HIM. So whenever we feel something, let's ask for more wisdom from our Father that whatever action we take, it must lead to glorifying Him and magnifying who He is in our lives. Again, it is alright to feel depressed, sad, happy, angry, frustrated, afraid, flustered, joyful, embarassed, etc. It's alright, it is what we do afterwards that matters. And one of the strongest weapons in fighting against these uncontrollable and overwhelmingly strong emotions? Drowning our minds with the word of God. This works, it does. If both our mind and spirit are fed fully by the word of our Lord, would you think you would ever feel these unwanted emotions? Of course not, because through our minds, Christ would whisper and crush every single lie that the enemy is feeding us. God's word is our weapon and HE definitely placed our minds above our hearts because our minds dictate what we should and shouldn't feel. Our minds will be filtering the things that are from Christ and from satan. The Holy Spirit is the scaffold of our minds and the shield of our heart. Never allow the enemy's lies to even enter our minds.

The more we feed our minds with the word of God the more joyful we will be. Any form of sadness or negativity will never even attempt to enter because we are sealed by the word of God.

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." -2 Corinthians 10:5

Mr.RIGHT

This letter isn't mine, it isn't from me. I found it on facebook and I believe that it would be too selfish of me not to even share it with anyone, so I'm sharing it with everyone :D Again, I do not own this, These words are not from me, I just found this on facebook :D

Dear Miss Right,
I could ask you the same question. None of us were created to be alone, we thrive off of love and relationship, so I think it’d be mutually beneficial for us to find each other quickly. The truth is, and this is where most guys won’t admit it, I need you as much as you need me. I’ve tried to be one of those super macho guys, but in all honesty, in my heart, nothing could be more satisfying than to be your sensitive and loving provider, your husband. My plans and ideas are everywhere. I ask God daily for direction and confirmation. God’s the only one with the big picture, because I’m as lost as you are. I know that there are wonderful things out there for us to discover together, God will reveal them to each of us in time. There IS a reason we’re still not together. Logically it’s because we haven’t met… or if we have, we haven’t gotten to know each other. You’re not the only one without a line of ducks, I think some of mine might actually be geese, in which case, I have to be rid of them and find the ducks to fill their spots.

I agree with you wholeheartedly about the right woman and the wrong time being the wrong woman. The same can be said for guys. And truthfully, God’s been dealing with me on issues that would only bring our relationship down. I struggle with the idea of being forgiven without cause, and I need to learn to be more accepting of grace. Until I am, please don’t give up on me. Truthfully, the reason we’re not together is that I’ve asked God to hold off on our introduction until I’m ready to be the man you deserve. I have some of the same fears. Trust me, nothing’s scarier for a guy than to think that he’ll be the emotional head over heels in love one, while you look on in disdain. I want to get lightheaded when you walk into a room, and I want you to melt at my smile. Don’t be afraid, you can never ask too much of God. Nothing is beyond His capacity. The very reason you feel like I should be these things for you, is because God has created a desire in you specifically for me and only me, who will be these things, and you won’t be happy with any other guy.

And believe me, I’m far from perfect. My heart aches at the very thought of you getting me. I’m the undeserving one. It’s not fair that someone with a past like mine gets coupled with the woman of his dreams. But the beauty of grace, is that it makes life not fair. I AM looking for you, and I’m waiting for God to deem the time right for us to meet. The fact that I know you’re out there doing the same, only strengthens me further. I hate to disappoint you, but I’m very much into movies and TV… Luckily, to have an interest in something does not necessarily mean to believe it. Love is not a feeling or emotion that coincides with “Happily Ever After”, it’s a choice. And I’ve decided to love you unconditionally into eternity.

Admittedly, a good appearance is nice, but appearances can be deceiving. Don’t worry about it; be yourself. My eyes were made with you in mind, so I’d say you have an advantage over other women. And besides, if you make yourself look too good, you’ll run the risk of attracting more than just me… I don’t want to have to fend the hounds off my woman! Your imperfections are what make you you, and I can put you just as easily on my screensaver or wall, as any of those other women. And the best part is, then I’ll have the real thing right by my side to keep me warm. Good luck with the cover snatching, you’ll need it. (lol) While there are a lot of pretty women out there, there’s only one for me. I would never settle for someone I could live with, and you shouldn’t either. Where’s the fun in that? I’m the one you could never imagine life without.

I’m the guy you might notice at first, but only in that, vague sort of way, but if you got to know me, you’d find a soul that yearns after God, and that’s what will help you understand the plan God has laid out for the both of us. If I only saw beauty from the world’s perspective, I’d be a rather lonely individual, wouldn’t I? There is none more beautiful than a beautiful soul. I can’t wait to be captivated by yours. I’d take on all the pain the world could throw at you, and you’d be the heaven that helped me bare it. I’ll be the first to admit, I struggle with taking a passive role. It’s hard to be a leader with no one to lead. Your point is valid, however, I find it ironic that you were the one to initiate this conversation, to which I am responding.

I have difficulty knowing who to pursue, I guess my biggest fear is accidentally getting in too deep with someone that’s not you. I have been hurt and rejected, and mostly because I’ve pursued… In fact, most of the stupid things I’ve done have come from “the hunt.” Maybe I should learn to do less shooting and more tracking. I can’t just fire into the crowds and hope for a hit. God has directed me on how to set my sights to find you. And you’ll be my trophy wife. (lol, couldn’t help myself with that one.) I’ll have you know, if you think I’d get married for the sake of getting married, maybe it’s you that’s looking in the wrong places. Marriage is a commitment for life, and that’s a commitment I’d be miserable to make to anyone but you. That and I want my rib back. I’ll tell you what, my rib for the covers, sound like a deal? There is no one I’d rather build my life with.

We’ll have our pitfalls, but we’ll also have our mountain tops, and there’s no one I’d rather share my adventure with because I know that there’s no way I can grow to be the man God wants me to be without you by my side.I’m getting kinda tired myself. It’s 58 days after New Year’s Eve, and I kissed no one… I was actually oblivious to the clock altogether as I was watching Monty Python’s Flying Circus (but that’s another story). Believe me, I’d rather have been in your arms. I wasn’t truly alone, but I was as good as. I’m one of the ones that feels lonely in a crowd, because I just don’t fit in. I’m not of this world, and that’s how you’ll be able to pick me out. I can’t wait till I can hold you as we usher in our first New Year together. It’ll be my happiest moment… until the next time you smile.

Good night to you, my love! God’s time is His own, but I pray daily that He take into consideration our time not spent together is time lost. I’ll search for you until I die, but I trust God to make sure it doesn’t take that long. Don’t settle for Mister Sorta Charming, because trust me, when you meet me, he’s going to look like the frog. I know not what form you’ll take, but I know you’ll be the woman God’s formed for and from me. I know you will have honesty, faith, tenderness, and a pure heart: each a beauty in and of its own. Even one of these is worth waiting an eternity for. I’ve loved you as long as you have me, and for the same reason. Don’t give up waiting for me, I’m searching for you. When we do finally meet, you can be sure God will have orchestrated it to bring out the both in best of us and to glorify Him in the greatest means possible. God’s been moving in both of our lives, and He’s been moving us together. It’s only a matter of time before that finally happens.

Forever Yours,

Mister Right

PS: That guy you were talking about that week, the one that was even at the bar in the first place? Yeah, probably not me...